Ego Rebirth
Today was an interesting day. Over the past week and a half, I found myself witnessing the play out of many egoic cycles. Today I realized it was preparing me to have a very challenging conversation with myself. One that involved speaking to my ego directly, darkness to light.
My ego poked and prodded at the most sensitive trigger I have, until she had nothing left. Her stories feel away, and falsehoods had no power. I sat with her, I listened to her. After the deepest hurts came up, judgement, self-doubt, self-sabotage, our value, I asked her, “What if you let all these go?”
Silence entered the room. She looked stunned “How dare you ask me that question.” “Why not? You are as much a part of this system as I am. As we move forward into the light you will be the guide that shows us how to navigate the dark. That alone is a beautiful honor. You bring the balance to the light…” (Keep in mind I’m also observing this all in my head and shit is bonkers like honestly go me.) I continue, “Before we can walk forward though, I need your sign off on these stories on these beliefs.” I handed her a contract, one that she remembered seeing before. Ego sat with each of those stories, each of those painful memories. “I release you.” Breathing a sigh of relief after each release.
The thing is when darkness surrenders to light, light can transmute darkness with ease. It is when darkness surrounds light it becomes engulfed in it. Through this healing process I felt my body free itself of all the stories just discussed. As I took breaths my body became lighter. I watched the areas I had just vacated be filled with light immediately. It was as though what was released was gone and could not return. The power of source leaves me speechless.
The rest of the evening has been spent sitting with my ego and coaching her through what we enjoy what we love, how to communicate well, what we like to do without guilt without fear of judgment without sacrifice to self. It was as though the new ways of being I have been writing for months were all anchored in as core beliefs after getting the ok from the ego.
This process doesn't have to be ugly. Well, I suppose I should say drastic. This concept looks different for many people and can be faced multiple times in the ascension journey. As my soul expands, my ego gets to grow. Not grow in fear but grow deeper in love.
Ego death? No, Ego Rebirth.
